Finally after waiting for almost a year I have a surgery date!! On September 13, 2013 I will be going under the knife. Luckily I have always felt that 13 is a lucky number and, according to many, 3 and 9 are lucky numbers too so 13/9/13 is bound to be a great day for me 🙂
Despite having looked forward (impatiently) for a surgery date and the fact that I am pleased with the actual date (again: 13/9/13) I think I am kind of shell shocked. Somehow when you wait for something for this long, the waiting becomes ‘normal’, a new part of your life. Things go on and in the background ‘waiting’ is happening. you go about thinking ‘Here I am, grocery shopping and Waiting’ or ‘look at me, watching tv and still waiting’. it’s like your life is the opening act but the main event is backstage waiting its turn. So when the call came: ‘Sandra I have great news! we have a surgery date!’ at first I was all ‘oh good!’ because I knew in my adult mind this was the thing we were waiting for – the opening act is complete and now on to the main event: Surgery! yay!
After an hour or so, however, I realized that I was having Open Heart Surgery. And I was having Open Heart Surgery in 16 days. oh. my. god. They are going to crack my chest open (good bye awesome scar-less cleavage!) cut bits out of my heart (the fundamental core of any human being) and then expect me to get up again and walk around. I had flashes of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation – remember the scene where Chevy Chase cuts into the over cooked turkey and it explodes open, the ribs flung obscenely wide? well, somehow that’s what I’m picturing when I imagine me on the operating table. Why I think i’m full of dry dust and, perhaps more oddly, shaped like a turkey I will never understand… but that’s what was popping into my head. So it has become The Thing I Talk About… a lot. I find myself wanting to tell everyone ‘I’m having heart surgery’ and then watching them to see what their reaction is. horror? pity? fear? Will their faces verify for me that this is a really scary thing? So far I’ve managed to work the whole heart surgery thing into my conversation with the nurse who was taking my blood (necessary for my pre-surgery preparations), the cashier at Tim Hortons and my hair dresser. their reactions were: Nurse – oh? when’s your date? Tim Hortons cashier – blank stare. Hair Dresser – Well we want you to be all gorgeous for all the people who will be visiting you!… hmm… apparently I’m not saying Heart Surgery with enough solemnity. They should be bursting into tears and wringing their hands and offering me cups of tea (ok the Tim Hortons girl did offer me tea but I had actually ordered it from her so I’m not counting that one). I expect more pity, more seats proffered, more attention! This is Big, folks!! Heart. Surgery. Open. My. Chest. Blood. Rib Cage. Heart. Sigh.
I had no idea I was such a drama queen.
Once the surgery is under way I will be on the heart/lung machine to keep things going, as it were, while good old Doc Maitland fixes up my ticker. I was delighted to find out that the title of the person who operates the heart/lung machine is a Perfusionist (auto-correct wants to change this to percussionist – no. that is not at all what we want to have happening…). Isn’t Perfusionist a perfect name? It sounds Elegant and graceful and beautiful somehow. Even Anesthesiologist sounds kind of cool and important. The heart surgeon though? He needs a better title… maybe Cardiocaretaker? or Cardioengineer? I don’t know. Cardiologist sounds like archaeologist and this does not connote the same level of elegance and grace that Perfusionist or Anesthesiologist does.
So there you go. Friday the 13, 2013 I will be meeting with my Perfusionist, Anesthesiologist and CardioEngineer (nope, gotta work on that one…) for what will be, undoubtedly, one of the most memorable days of my life. I don’t know if I will be inspired to blog more before surgery – I suspect I will become increasingly more introspective as the date draws nearer, but I do know that it is unlikely that I will be blogging a lot immediately after my surgery. But as soon as I can I will let you know how my most memorable day went 🙂