A Very Bleak Poem

moved over from my facebook blog from November 20, 2010

Many of you may know that I recently lost my dad to cancer.  while I was burrowing through some documents on the computer I found this poem I wrote while my cousin Judy was in the hospital dying of breast cancer.  At the same time this was happening, I found out later that my friend Krista’s mom was losing her battle with cancer as well.  Anyway, this poem reflects my state of mind at the time and frankly, also captures my feelings about this period when dad was dying.


I tidy the kitchen

& hang the tea towels up,

I am not dying.

I gather up my son & his toys

And hustle him into his bath.

He is so full of life.

He splashes through his bath

And chats about the miracle of water going




Life drips from him;

Sparkles on his lashes like diamonds,

Dances in his laughter.

I put him in his pajamas; we count: one leg, two leg.

Pull the covers up to his chin

Kiss his warm peach cheek

Breathe his sweet baby smell.

The smell of life.

I brush my own teeth,

Wash my own face,

Pay scant attention to the water going




I put my pajamas on

I do not count: One leg, two leg

I pull the covers up to my chin.

I am not dying.

I think of Judy lying in the hospital bed

Machines monitoring her last days

Coaxing life to stay just a little longer.

She once had life dancing in her laughter,

Sparkling on her lashes like diamonds

Now it escapes in coughs

She spits it out

And watches the miracle of it





Published by

Sandy Kenyon

It has been a chaotic and heartbreaking year. But I'm climbing back out of this chaos, bent on carving a new path using all the things I have learned. Stay tuned for new stories :) I hope you enjoy what you read!

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